Here we go again…

My mind… I simply can’t let it work like that of a robot. Aren’t these temporal… Meant to last for 15 days or so, and then behold another cycle… Meant to feed hedonism and apathy… What other combination could seem worst… Leave me out of the rat race… Leave me out for I do not want to be a part of such an organized mess. There is so much more… When I read my name and look at my reflection on the mirror I am reminded… of the meaning of my existence… Surely, all the years that had past and all those experiences I have had growing up didn’t mean to lead me to this… Doomed to be the same for the rest of the years, or maybe decades to come… That ambition has become clearer, more evident than it ever was. The path that needs to be followed is not this way… Let me move on to a different course before it gets too late… I hope that one day, that dream of being able to render something significant wouldn’t just be another idea in my head, like how it has always been… There is a greater wish and a turbulent yearning that might sound ordinary if expressed in words…

Freedom… I think about you night and day. To be immersed in you… I know it will happen soon…

Isang Mensaheng Nais Ipabatid

The Parisian Life a.k.a. Interior d’Un Café by Filipino painter, Juan Luna

Ako’y mayroong nais na sariwain,
Ang nakaraang ‘di natin dapat makaligtaan,
‘Pagkat ito ay isang malaking bahagi ng ating sining –
Ang kaibuturan ng ating naghihikahos na katauhan.

Sila’y pumarito at nag-iwan ng maraming bakas,
Noo’y naisip na mapakikinabangan itong bagong tuklas.
‘Di kaya sila’y naging banta sa ating naging bukas?
Ngunit siyempre, hindi iyan dapat diyan magwawakas.

Kung maaari’y huwag na huwag kakalimutan,
Ang tunay nating pagkakakilanlan,
Hindi ba’t ito ay isang tunay na kayamanan?
Na hinding-hindi kailanman ay pwedeng mapalitan.

Another grin.

How was the pain endured despite the passing of time?
That I cannot tell,
What leaves me in awe is the fact that it still is there.
When will you fade away?

I tried to evade but you came after me,
There should be a way out.
Will my next step leave you behind for good?
I take another deep breath as I let you go, again.

Photograph from ~Ellie-the-dreamer on DeviantArt.

There is more.

They laugh so loud it sounds like they’re snickering,
As the light from the attic keeps on flickering.
Is there anything else that they intend to chase?
Aside from being stuck in this same cold place.

When I think of home I…

Feel the salty breeze of the early morn with a taste that’s sweet,
I hear the burgeoning noise as vehicles start to fill the streets.
Then I behold the sounds of the alarms that wake my kin,
I then sense a speck of light that come from down the stairs,
It tells me that dad, I’m sure you’ve made it first again.
How it all seemed ordinary yesterday,
Why do I look back as if it was of a century ago?
If only I could set foot on you by simply closing my eyes,
I most certainly will without any doubt.
My dearest Zamboanga,
It is you that I long to see again.

There it goes…

The night’s so deep that all the crows seem to hide,

I search in vain with my eyes opened wide.

It should be lurking round the bend,

No, this should never come to an end.